Captain Heartbreaker

I found a pair of pajamas for Lake recently that say "Captain Heartbreaker" across the top. They also boast a glittery broken heart, with wings, reminiscent of an old Arrowsmith logo, or 80's CD cover of some sort. They're just darling. He's been practicing his new monicker lately, particularly seeming to focus most of his heartbreaking techniques on his already "hooked-on-him" mother; as she's a likely (and willing) target for his cunning ploys. (His father had me hooked on him for years, if you all remember that long ago, so it would make sense this same trait would befall his only child now wouldn't it?) Daddy had a few tricks up his sleeve, so of course, Lake does too.

Heartbreaking Technique #1: He's taken to ignoring me completely--especially, if there are any other men in the room. Primarily, his father. Or Jack. Or the mailman. He won't even let me pick him up if daddy's in the room. But, at least he's in love with his daddy. Aren't we all?

Heartbreaking Technique #2: He's becoming fierecely independent...wanting to feed himself, dress himself, refuses to be carried, is boycotting "rocking", and any other type of cuddly type baby stuff that I, of course, LOVE. Which translates to me not having a "baby" anymore, but a little boy. Sniff. Sniff. Unless he's sick. Then it's all mama, all the time.

Heartbreaking Technique #3: He's fiercelly independent...unless we are leaving him at daycare (triple sniff), or the nursery during church--where an immense meltdown ensues, typically with me trying to awkwardly leave the room while he's screaming at the top of his lungs, with both arms wrapped around my legs, while my heart breaks in two, and leaves his little face all scrunched up like a sour grape. Which reminds me he is still a baby, and he still does need his mama, but it's heartbreaking for me anyway. Although I know the second I leave, he turns into a rock star with all the toys, books, and commotion in the room.

I'm completely over the moon, hooked on, addicted to, and in love with this child. I'm afraid he'll try to take his heartbreaker status too far though, by behaving badly. For example, he will not allow any other child to sit on our lap. I saw it again today, in the nursery at church. He's quite jealous (unfotunately, he gets that from me) and will immediately attempt to push the child off our either mine, or John's, lap. Hmmmmm. I think that means it's time for baby number two.

Maybe that will help even out the favoritism a little too...we'll call it "payback" for all the heartbreak he, and daddy, have given me; which I wouldn't trade in ten million years. I just have to have an excuse to want another baby, right?

And of course, now I can't get "HeartBreaker" by Pat Benatar outta my head..."You're a heart breaker, dream maker, love taker, don't you mess around with me"...Repeat.

Golden Girl

My great Aunt Jean passed away this weekend. She's my Granny's only sister, and a real jewel of a lady. I can't help but picture her as I've always known her..blonde, tan, smiling. A true 'golden girl', if you will. Aunt Jean (Norma Jean Summerton) was always a big part of our family. As a child, we'd spend hours at her home in Kokomo-it had a pool, and was always packed with snacks; and of course, all the grandkids & cousins!   She owned a tavern, 'Norma's Place', in downtown Kokomo (as a kid, I always thought it was soooo cool that a classy lady like her owned a tavern), and eventually sold it to become a retired snowbird. She's been in Florida for years now, another place for her to enjoy the sunshine and beautiful weather, and the perfect place to work on her golden glow. She was made with a heart of gold..she was an amazing mother, grandmother, sister, Aunt, and friend to all of us.   She'd just written Lake a beautiful letter for his birthday, and sent him a dollar bill. It's hard to think she never actually had the chance to meet him. As I grow older, I recognize missed opportunities, and I'm sad I hadn't taken the a chance to go see her in the past several years. I'm grateful Aunt Jean had family with her in Florida as her cancer progressed. Just last week, they took a drive down the coast and had a picnic together...she said it reminded her of years past, when she had all the kids & grandkids at her place.   Although I never actually stepped inside her tavern, I'll always have a special place in my heart for my Aunt Jean. I think I'll hang a little wooden sign on it, and call it "Norma's Place"..she would really like that.   We love you Jeannie..You will be missed.

Topsy Turvey

I'm a mess. Not a "hot" one, but a mess--never the less. One day I'm up emotionally; the next day I'm digging myself out of a deep, dingy, dirty, emotional dumpster. I've had a perpetual pout on my pucker for at least two weeks. February finally fled-which I thought would certainly do the trick. It didn't. I'm not sure if it's Lake's upcoming daycare enrollment that has me bamboozled, or if it's the fact I feel there's never the right amount of time to dedicate to each of the things I love the most: my God, my husband, my child, my home, my job, my friends, my hobbies, my life. No one gets a fair shake, it's not fair! Yes, I'm whining. This is me throwing a virtual fit. I'm stomping my feet in despair. Poor, poor, pitiful me. It isn't that I don't feel blessed, because I do. I know I'm lucky to only have to work part-time. Most people don't have that luxury. And, it isn't because I'm not happy, I am. My marriage is strong. I am just not sure WHAT it is I'm supposed to be doing with my life. Does anyone else ever go through this? What is my purpose? What am I called to do? I feel as if I'm just spinning my wheels, stuck in the mud...although I'm not quite sure WHERE it is I'm even SUPPOSED to be going. I feel like I'm just not doing "enough"-enough for God, enough for my family, enough for me. Just wondering if I'm the only spinning wheel on the surface of the earth?

Thank You & Invitation...

Several of you have asked me about my participation in the Great Banquet this past weekend. First of all, THANK YOU to all of the wonderful letters that were written to me..I've never felt so much love in one weekend; it was incredible. For those of you who are unaware of 'what' the Great Banquet is, it's a 3-day event to help you strengthen your faith, learn more about God, and draw closer to him. You have no cell phone-and no watch-which is great fun! Everyone has a different experience with the banquet, and I know I will NEVER forget my banquet weekend. I've never felt closer to God, or seen him work in so many lives, all at one time and in one place--it was overwhelming, powerful, and completely satisfying. I finally learned and understood God's plan for reconciliation, forgiveness, and TRUE GRACE is about, and I've been a Christian for many, many years. Whew, it finally makes sense! :o) For those of you who have an interest in learning more about the Great Banquet, regardless of where you are--whether you are spiritually strong or not strong in your faith, lukewarm for the Lord, completely confused, or just plain angry, God will meet you there, and you will meet him, I promise! I'd be happy to sponsor you if you are interested. This is for MEN and for WOMEN..they take place on separate weekends. The next dates to attend are for Men, 7/9-7/12 and for Women 7/23-7/26. If these dates do not work for you, there are other dates this year. And, the interesting thing is the Great Banquet is a community..they have the same 'retreat' all over the state of Indiana, and in Illinois (and other states--it's not just an Indy thing). I can help you locate one near you if you are interested, and can still sponsor you for one of those events. Thanks again to all of you who prayed for me, and shared your love with me. It means more than anything! I love you!

Take this Month and Shove(l) It...

I've decided that February is pretty much worthless when it comes to the calendar year. Aside from Valentine's Day, (which a lot of people boycott anyway as it's a "made-up" holiday) February doesn't hold much water.

It can't decide if it wants to snow, or be 60 degrees. Somehow, February manages to throw 50-mile an hour straightline winds at us, just for the sheer joy of it. Our poor neighbors ended up with a tree on top of their house, and our street ended up on Fox 59 morning news because of it.

Yes, February is a tempermental lass, which may be why she and I don't get along so well. I'm ready to push her out the door for good, and she's just not quite ready to go--kind of like an ex-girlfriend who thinks she can talk you into letting her stay.

It usually doesn't work. And, like the ex-lover, February too must go on. I know I'm ready, anytime now.

What About Your Friends?

There's a song by TLC (I probably haven't listened to them since bumping around in my mom's 1990 red Shadow on the way to Circus City Days) called 'What About Your Friends', which has recently begun popping into my head, for no apparent reason.    It's not your typical 'bond with your friends' bar song, like 'Friends in Low Places', and doesn't hold a candle to any chick pick tune by the Indigo Girls. It has lines like "People say I act a little funny, I wouldn't change, not for no money...even though I might seem easy, it don't give you no cause to deceive me", which makes me question how they ever went triple platinum. But never the less, they do get their point across.   When things get particularly hard in life, which unfortunately, happens more often than not; we find out who our friends are (Another poignant bonding song by Tracey Lawrence and Tim McGraw). We find out who's going to be around for us, and who isn't.   I love that my friends challenge me, support me, sob with me, and call me out when I'm failing in some aspect of my life. My friend Adam recently called me '1-Dimensional', in terms of this blog..(i.e. all I ever write about is Lake.) Good for you, Adam. It helps keep me in check; because the last thing I aspire to be is a mom who can only focus on their child.   For those of you who've 'been there' for us, we really appreciate it. We've recently walked through some potential pitfalls with John's job, as well as some other difficult life issues, and so many of you have willingly stepped up to become involved in our "messes." We haven't had to go through anything extremely hard, like illness or loss, but we know if we do..we won't have to look far for support. You don't get to pick your family, but you do get to pick your friends, and it appears as if we've picked well. Thank you.   The next time I hear something by TLC, I'll give you each a shout out.

Snow Day!

We are covered in snow. It's BEAUTIFUL! Lakers and I will have a snow day. We'll drink coffee (and warm milk), eat cookies (organic banana cookies), watch Ellen, and tackle laundry--my arch nemesis. Today will be a good day.

Look at me, Mom!

Happy Birthday, Lake Austin.

Oh what a difference a year makes. I can't believe we made it! Wow. It flew by. Lake turned one on Sunday, December 21st. We rang in his birthday with family and friends and it was perfect. Thank you everyone!

Some highlights from our first year...

1. When he was about a week old, I realized he had a small rash covering his chest...I was rather concerned. I really couldn't figure out what the two larger red circles were. They were right in the middle of the sandpaper fine red rash that encompassed his chest cavity. Lo and behold, the two bigger ones (yep, this is true) were his nipples. At least I didn't call Dr. Carrie in a panic over that.


2. I did call Amber and Barb in a panic when he was about 12 weeks..wondering if his urine had crystalized. I could not for the life of me, figure out what the jelly-like crystals were in his diaper. Apparently, Pampers leave little jelly crystals if the diaper gets too wet. I'd had him in his diaper a bit too long. No, urine does not crystalize into jelly.


3. It is possible to leave your infant and take a vacation! In fact, we took two. Much needed ones. Once to Miami, and once to Jamaica. It does get easier. However, we do have a $250 plus some change, cell phone bill from the frequent calls home while in Jamaica! Was it worth it? Yes, it was.


4. Lake makes all kinds of sounds. Go figure. He has a ridiculous range. In fact, I took him to the doctor around 7 months of age, because he was making this odd strangling sound. I thought he was continually choking. A $20 copay later left me shaking my held as the Doctor told me he is experimenting with his vocal cords and learning to make noises. He will be like his mother, after all.


5. Lake has been published already in his first year..He made the Kokomo Tribune on a visit to see Santa. Next, it'll be the Wall Street Journal.


6. Infants can climb stairs. It doesn't happen after they are toddlers. No, it happens when you aren't looking. They are QUICK!


7. If you let babies sleep in your bed (which I swore I'd never do), they get accustomed to it. Go figure. Now we are back at square one. Smart one, he is.


8. The best thing in the world is having Lake crawl up to your legs, pull himself up on you, and lift up his arms for you to pick him up. Nothing beats that. Nothing.


9. His favorite word, and favorite person I might add, is Da Da. And Jackson.


10. Lake loves Maryn, and Maryn's dog Duke. He loves Dukie so much that he likes to grab his tail. In fact, while Lake was holding his tail, Duke took off and drug Lake across the floor. He's already prepping for his future stunt man job. He will be a star one way or another.

Yes, our year has been full of life, love, tears and unexpected gifts. We are wishing each of you a very Merry Christmas and a glorious 2009. We plan on bundling in and nesting for the winter. Maybe catch up on some laundry. Until then..Cheers!

Lake for President

In the spirit of election week, I've come up with a fantastic idea. Why not nominate Lake for President? I like it. He's already a ham. He's been practicing his perfectly pitched political smile, & seemlingly effortless crowd-pleasing gestures.

He's a charmer, no doubt about it. And, like most politicians, he can be coniving. In fact, just earlier this week, we took a trip to Babies R Us. I foolishly allowed him to hold a box of "Biter Biscuits", which are used for teething. Every time I looked at him, he would lift the box up to his face and flash an enormous grin. When I arrived at the checkout, I took the box of Biter Biscuits out of his little paws, only to discover a six-inch gaping hole in the boxtop. He'd chewed right through it, the little devil. I fished a large amount of cardboard out of the roof of his mouth, however, I'm sure he managed to ingest a bit of extra fiber. At least he has a sense of humor. He chose to devour the "biter biscuits" and not the baby wipes. I asked the cashier if I could return the damaged box, but she didn't buy it.

Another great reason to elect Lake for Prez? He's great at make-believe. In fact, he pulls off the fantasy gig like the best of them.

He's a man of many hats. And coats.

But, it's fall in Indiana, so there's been some cooler temps. When the cooler temps arrive, so do the leaf dropping gnomes.

Unless of course, you take a trip to the pumpkin patch on a day it's almost 85 degrees. Those hot days render pumpkin patch visits nearly unbearable for babies. They start hallucinating from the heat, and start seeing pumpkins floating in trees..

Which is exactly why Lake told me the platform for his Presidential run is Global Warming.

Vote 4 Lake, you won't be sorry.

We're Back!

It seems like I've been offline forever. We were without our PC for about 6-8 weeks. That really turned our household upside down for a bit! But, thanks to Anson, we're good to go. He came and fixed our machine for us. We owe him dinner, or somethin'. Thanks, Anson! We managed to get a virus--I'm still not sure how it happened, but I guess it must happen to everyone at one point or another. This was just our time, I suppose.

I'm fairly behind on our photos, since we were back living in pre-pc-historic times, but I am working on getting our web albums updated. This summer flew by..I can't believe we're in the middle of October! Can someone please tell me how we got here?

The video at the beginning of this post was a set of photos we took when the three of us spent a day downtown, lounging on the lawn at the War Memorial. We've had many great, great days with our son. He is an incredible blessing. I'm sad to see the summer go, but am looking forward to fall. It's my favorite time of year.

Lake is 10 months old this week, which completely blows me away. He is growing and changing everyday. We're so lucky to have him. He's crawling, pulling himself up, and managing to get into all sorts of mischief. He now has 4 teeth, and a lot of bright, shiny, blonde hair! He's a living, breathing, dream. I wish I could record every single moment. He's leaving the infant stage behind, which is sad for his mama. I'm having a hard time packing away his little clothes. He's munching on Cheerios, eating all sorts of yummy food, and is developing quite a strong personality. He isn't going to be very shy, there is no doubt about that! Shock, disbelief, right?

We spent last Saturday at StonyCreek farm up in Noblesville with Emma and Evan, Chris & Tam, and Mom & Tooie. It was our first big fall adventure. We went on a hay ride, saw the ponies, and hung out in the pumpkin patch. Speaking of ponies, Lake had his first pony Ride at his friend Finley's 2nd birthday party a few weeks ago. It was really neat to see him with other kids..baby Graham and Max were both there with him as well. He's been doing all kinds of fun stuff, lately. John and I always say life is so much sweeter with a little one around the house.

We are anxiously looking forward to Lake's first Halloween. He's going to be a turtle! It fits him quite well. He's always sitting up, straining his neck & twisting his little head, just to see what's goin' on..he doesn't miss a beat..Not to mention, he looks simply darling in his costume.

We are preparing to go to Jamaica next month, for J+F's wedding. I'm getting nervous about leaving Lakers for an entire week, but Johnny and I are going to enjoy our time away. We certainly could use the time just to hang out together, drinking pina coladas, and resting. That will be here before we know it.

As will my Holiday Bazaar..Tricia & I are hosting a Christmas Bazaar on Saturday November 22nd. A bunch of us are getting together to sell our wares. I don't know where we came up with this crazy idea, but I believe it will be a good time...regardless if we actually make any money. I'm sure we'll just spend it on all the other gifts people are making! So, be looking for those invites before long! And after that, it will be 1st Birthday party planning time...yikes!

Johnny and I get to go on a date this weekend..which I'm very much looking forward to. It's been awhile! Some of our house church friends offered to watch Lakers..they are going to have a babysitting party..which I'm sure he'll be able to entertain every one of them. They all wanted to watch him together, which is quite amusing. I love our small group. They are an amazing group of people. Again, lucky to have them.

Wow, just writing this post makes me realize how deeply grateful I am for all the wonderful things in our lives. As I wrap up, I'll remember to my prayers & give thanks to God for all his glorious gifts. Keep the Mullett family in your prayers too. Check out their incredibly journey with their son Henry, here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/henrymullett. This couple has absolutely opened my eyes to what it means to be a parent, and how to live out their lives in faith. Thanks, Paul & Monica. God bless you both.

A Visit from the Tooth Fairy and other Magnificent Firsts!

John, Lakers, Jackson Cooper and I just had the opportunity to spend a glorious week at our lake cottage, in Sturgis. Although it was incredibly hot (go figure, late July in Michiana) it was a great escape, which has been desperately needed all summer! This was our first week long vacation as a family. I can't wait to do it all over again!

My Top Ten Favorite Things About our Vacation:

1. We got a visit from the tooth fairy! Yes, Lakers now has two bottom teeth. Amazing.
2. We went to Nottowa for ice cream. Cones come in sizes like belly ache and super belly ache. Lake had his first taste of ice cream. He didn't like it. It makes we wonder if he is actually my child...They also sell bait at the ice cream shop. Right out of a vending machine!
3. Lake went swimming for the first time. We dunked him under a few times..he didn't cry. He's such a big boy! He also went on a paddle boat ride..another first!
4. The week was kicked off by attending back-to-back DMB shows with friends @ Verizon.
5. Lake got to see horses, cats, and chipmunks for the first time, at a visit to Uncle Lynn and Aunt Kathy's gorgeous farm in Edwardsburg, MI.
6. I read two fantastic books: The Shack, and The Last Lecture. Read them, if you haven't already.
7. I wrote and worked on two stories. John relaxed. We watched 3 movies. All in one week!
8. I have hand prints all over my left arm and shoulder, and my right thigh, because I didn't get sunscreen rubbed in completely. I look like a dork. Somehow, it happens every year.
9. John and I took a flashlight to shine in the lake at night, looking for turtles. We found a baby muddobber. Luckily, we didn't find any snapping turtles.
10. Jackson Cooper flying superman style off the end of the dock to catch a Frisbee. We need to enroll him in some sort of doggy extreme sports contest. He's very talented.

My Girl

Nothing you can say can tear me away from my girl. (My girl) Nothing you can do, can make me untrue, to my girl. (My girl)

I may not be a movie star, but when it comes to being happy, we are! There's not a girl in space, who will ever take the place of my girl. (My girl) I don't know the words!, this song is wayyyy before my time.

Check out me & my girl, Maryn! We're BFF's, Smitten, & Forever Playmates!

Noooooo!

The two Starbucks stores closest to our house are on the hit list. The 38th & Meridian store, (practically at the end of our block) and the Fall Creek & College store. They could be closing as early as the end of the month. It's very depressing. Starbucks posted the .pdf of the 600 US stores slated to close on their website. We have about 12 stores in the Indianapolis area & 8 county metro scheduled to close. My sister called me tonight to break the news.

Another sad thought. Dunkin Donuts just opened 100 stores in Indiana. Seems how I still haven't lost all my baby weight, (most of my baby weight) I don't need anymore donuts. Indiana is already one of the most obese states in the country. Does this mean we'll all be rollin' down the highway in little cars, with blueberry cake donuts as wheels? All of us drinking coffee out of bright pink and orange styrofoam cups, reminiscent of the 80's, and WKRP in Cincinatti?

Give me the mermaid, the Starbucks merchandise, and my Grande Nonfat Toffee Nut with whip Latte (in a mostly recycled cup) any day of the week. Make that twice on Sundays.

Free Bird Part 2

Lake & I spent some time out today, doing a bit of errand running. On our drive home, he got a wee bit cranky. He was starting to fuss. A lot. Then he started crying pretty heavily. Lynard Skynard's Free Bird came on the radio, so I cranked it up. Loud and proud. He stopped crying. Makes sense, doesn't it? He is my son after all.

Free Bird

I'm not referring to my Senior Class song "Free Bird" by Lynard Skynard. Yes, my high school class chose that song for their final farewell. I'm surprised we weren't waving Confederate flags. Love those small towns.

No, I'm referencing the freedom I've had the last day and a half. I love & adore Lake, as you know. But, he's at 'Camp Grandma' in Kokomo and I'm beside myself with spare time. I'm not quite sure what to do with myself. It's so quiet.

Last night we had a terrible storm. John was working late on a deadline at the studio downtown, so Jack and I held down the fort. I felt like I was in a Nancy Drew mystery. The lights kept flickering. The windows were shaking and lightning bolts were illuminating the entire house. The lights would flicker off for a second, and I'd yell "come back, come back, come back," and they would! (Like I had something to do with that.) We never lost power completely. I was a nervous wreck. Jackie C. was absolutely no help, either. He was under the bed, even though he can barely fit, fearing for his life. It was fun.

Today is Mama's day. I took a personal day. I know, I only work three days a week at what I jokingly refer to as my 'pretend job'. Why on earth would I need to take a vacation day? Sometimes you simply need to recharge. I'm one of those people who run on high power for weeks at a time, and then boom, I'm exhausted.

God bless my husband. He knows me so well. Monday night we were in the car, on our way to a meeting, when he recognized the semi-manic mode I occasionally get into. I'm just babbling away (about nothing really) in the slightly higher-pitched voice of mine, that again, only comes out when I've almost hit my limit with things. It's a sure sign there's a woman on the edge somewhere in there. My friend Tricia and I call it 'takin a trip to Crazy Town'.

So John says to me, "Honey, you need to lean back, close your eyes, and clear your head. You need to wash out all the crazies in your head. You need a brainwash." Hmmm, I thought. I do need a brain wash. Just not the kind where you begin following a charismatic leader. Silly boy, he even went so far to say he's going to buy me a book of 'Express Brain Wash Tickets', (instead of Mike's car wash tickets) along with a bright Pink helmet, encrusted with diamonds. For my days that the 'sky is falling' a la Chicken Little. Now, that's love.

So, here I am, clearing my head. All by myself. I think I'll pretend to be a writer today, and work on some stories. I'll actually get through an entire cup of coffee without warming it up in the microwave 10 times. I'll download some songs on Itunes, that I've been meaning to do since Christmas. I'll work on finishing some photo albums I've started. And, I'll dance around the house to blaring Christian rock music. After I'm done with that, I'll throw on some Skynard, just for old times sake.

Peanut Buster Parfait: Hold the Fudge

Someone needs to hire a camera crew to hang out at my house. My Mama and I went out last night to do a little shopping with Lake. We stopped by the DQ on the way home for a Royal Treat. Lake must've decided to take a poo while we were en route, which is typically no big deal.

Once home we began unloading groceries. My hands were full with packages, I was attempting to wrangle the dog, plus trying to balance my Peanut Buster Parfait, so I asked John if he could get Lake out of his carseat and change his diaper.

I hadn't realized the little guy had blown out his diaper. Literally. Poo was everywhere. Up his back. Down his legs. In the carseat. How can one little baby make such a mess? I've often heard of these infamous poopies. The ones that come out of nowhere and manage to stick to the walls. Or the ceiling. Or your pants. I knew we'd experience one of those poos someday. Yesterday was that day.

I started laughing. John was holding up his legs, Mom was trying to wipe his bottom, and Jack was busily licking the poo out of the car seat. I couldn't do anything but laugh. Hysterically. While I was trying to shoo Jack out of the carseat (so I could start wiping it up with my napkin), John saw me holding my Peanut Buster Parfait spoon in my hand. The same hand that had just cleaned up the poo now held the napkin and the spoon. He said, "Nice work honey. I'm glad to see you are using your spoon to assist you in your cleaning efforts." He followed that up with, "I have some extra fudge over here if you need it."

No thank you! In fact, my Peanut Buster Parfait is still in the freezer, untouched. I'd had enough fudge for one day. You may not want to kiss Jackson Cooper, either. We all know where his mouth has been.

Where is that camera crew when you need them?

Boy, Was I Wrong.

Happy 1/2 Birthday, Little Guy!!!

WOW. Lakers turned 6 months this past weekend. He was just born yesterday, wasn't he? Nothing beats this Motherhood gig. I believe I'll keep it. You can't place a value on it, a number, or express it verbally. You simply can't know, until you become a Mother, the joy it will bring to your life. It's UNREAL. And to think, I once said, "My life will not change much once I have a child." Who did I think I was?

I've logged more miles on his rocking chair than in my car over the past 6 months, but I don't mind. The girl who loved to whip down the highway, chugging' coffee, jamming or blabbing on the phone at 80 mph, is long gone. If he's in the car, it's the speed limit and no cell phones. We still jam out though. I haven't minded being out of the social, political, or entertainment arenas, either. My People magazine subscription will need to be cancelled since I no longer spend Friday nights catching up on Brangelina. (Did they have their twins yet, BTW?) I think that subscription fee would look great on my feet, since I haven't had time or cash for a pedicure lately and could use some cute shoes. Shopping. What's that? And, money. Who has any?

We now drift off to sleep with the sounds of The Cure, Bob Marley or Coldplay (check out Rockabyebabymusic.com) Lullabies twinkling across the hall. I was the woman who could have no sounds at nighttime. And lights. The hall light stays on, glaring brightly into my eyes, yet I manage to sleep. The "no lights" rule blew out the window the first night he came home.

I was also the woman who said, Lake will never sleep in our bed. Right. There is nothing better than bringing him into our room about 5 am, and spending the last few hours of sleep snuggled up next to his little booty. When he stretches, grins, and snuggles up to me, forget it. I'm game to let him stay there until he's six.

Miss Social has also learned to say "no" to things. Not all things, but we're learning to pick and choose. We're going out on Saturday, July 12th, so I'll need to arrange for a sitter. That's been a huge adjustment. I actually need to find sitters. (We could always just leave Jackie Cooper home, but child protection services would frown on that if we left Lake, don't you think?) We still plan way ahead, but we're staying home more than going out. It's a little love nest.

I'm not the only one who said funny things prior to parenthood. John said he was going to take the highchair down after every meal, so it wouldn't be in the way. Well, we broke it out this weekend, and it hasn't moved. It's got it's own little spot at the breakfast nook table. And, it doesn't take away from the "design" of the room, either. We are trying, however, not to lose ourselves completely in our new roles. You'll be proud to know we've already been on a plane, sans Lake, and will be going to Jamaica for Bodi's wedding in November. We aren't taking him. It's still important to savor us. We spent the last 6 years of our marriage building our bond, we do need to maintain that focus. And, we're still going to the Dave Shows this summer. Both nights. It may get fratty. Grandma & Papaw will have Lakers for the weekend. It'll be old school.

All in all, it's been a complete overhaul. I'll take it. It's truly rewarding to see his little mug every morning, smiling brightly, cooing for the world to hear. They grow and change so fast. I'm trying to memorize the moments as they happen.

I just wanted to let everyone know how wrong I was. All you mom's knew already, you just wanted me to find out for myself.

Stripped

John & I recently begun hosting a House Church (or small bible study/community group) for Common Ground Christian Church. Collectively, we decided before we actually started doing the bible study portion, we'd spend time each week with an individual in the group sharing their background. It's an open forum. Our goal was to get to know each other on a deeper level.

We've had about 26 people come in the past several weeks. (And about 6 children) Most people don't know one another. There are no preconceived notions. There are a few groups of friends spread throughout, but as we are forming from "scratch", most of the faces are new to each of us. We've grown both through the church and internally, and all share a common goal: We are actively seeking God.

Have you ever placed a group of people in a room, who barely knew each other, and asked who would like to speak about themselves next week? Their story can be anything it needs to be. It can be about their childhood, or their upbringing in church, or their lack of, or where they are today. It can be the relationship with their parents, or an opportunity to divulge their weaknesses, or their dreams. It's a tough assignment.

Basically, I look around a room full of people, at some who are confident, and at others who avoid my eyes, and I say to them "strip". Of course, I don't say that verbatim. But, it is indeed what we're asking. We're asking them to let down their guard, make themselves vulnerable, and open their lives to strangers. I'm asking them to shed any insecurities they may have, and step out in Faith, that those here won't cast stones.

I've been AMAZED at what I've heard. Some people have had a fairly "easy" life. They haven't had too many letdowns, or had a boat load of disappointments. They appear fairly intact. Others have cracks. It's an eye opener, even in a community this small, how people have been touched by life's different seasons. The issues run the gamut. I've sat here, with mouth open, literally gasping at some of the things I've heard. Some of our discussions are heavy. They are far from light & are a far cry from a fairytale.

Yet, here they sit. Week after week, stripping away the things that tie them down. It's not easy. Trusting others, and building solid relationships, is often hard to achieve. I can't help but think, however, that God is bringing each of us back for a reason. It's our trust in Him that is allowing everyone to open themselves up. He's pulling, slowly, at each of us to share at the right time. Whether their stories reflect a bright and shiny past, or one that was dull or broken, they all are equally beautiful in His eyes. As Christians we should be able to recognize that beauty as well, and accept all that we hear with open ears.

Mama's Cookin'

I've never enjoyed cooking. Ever. I despise it. In fact, I'm not sure I've ever even boiled an egg. My cooking prowess includes: tacos, cereal (as in Crispix), and egg casserole, but only at Christmas. You'd think John would've have starved already. However, he knew going into this marriage , that my domestic skills were far from refined.
And to think, I come from a cooking family. My Mom cooks. My Grandmother cooks. I physically crave my Granny's biscuits and sausage gravy, or her homemade ham & soup beans. I'll gladly make the 460 mile trip to Blackwater, VA. just to have a meal with my grandparents. I'd pack the car tomorrow.
Now, when I say they cook, they COOK. Every meal is practically made from scratch. Biscuits, stuffing, pie crusts, you name it. They believe in the old addage, the food needs to "stick to your ribs." We're talking mashed potatoes, ten pounds of chicken, brocoli salad, homemade desserts, veggie trays, homemade macaroni, and garden salads. And that's lunch. For four people. It's old school cooking, for sure.
Ever since we've had Lake, I've had this nagging feeling I need to learn to cook. Pre parenthood, John and became accustomed to take-out (we even have a binder full of take-out menus, categorized by the area of town, and whether or not they deliver). We'd grab sushi on the way home, or go out to dinner. We were spoiled, I know. We'd gotten used to being "dinks" (double-income, no kids). Lake changed that status real fast. We're now 1 & a 1/2 incomes, with a baby. Nothing keeps you out of restaurants faster than that.
So here I am, wondering what I should do. Before long, Lake will be no longer on milk, but eating food from the table. I can' t feed him Crispix every single day. I blame my Mother for this, actually. She spoke some magic words that sealed the deal a few weeks ago. I was complaining about not knowing what to have for dinner, and not wanting to cook anything, yatta, yatta, yatta. She said, "Don't you want Lake to grow up and want his Mama's cooking?"
That one sentence stuck in my head. Yes, I do want him to want his Mama's cooking. I want him to come home from school wondering what's for dinner. I want him to ask for seconds. I want him to bring his friends over for dinner. And, when he's in college, Mama's cooking will hopefully call him home, when he's completely burnt out on pizzas, hot dogs, and dorm food. I can't believe the power her one sentence held over me. It changed my entire outlook on cooking. Women have been feeding their families since the beginning of time. It only makes sense that I too, finally join the ranks.
The biggest benefit in learning to cook today, vs. when our parents did, is the Internet. No longer do you have to collect cookbooks, you can just join one of the thousand free cooking websites out there. The one I'm using is AllRecipes.com. I love it. It tells you all of the nutritional information, and even allows you to print your recipes out on index-sized cards. You can customize a shopping list, which tells you all the ingredients you need to purchase (with a little check box area to mark off) for each of your recipes. It's fabulous. Hold onto your hats, kids, I'm hitting the kitchen.
I chose 4 recipes to start with a few weeks ago. It's a HUGE difference trying to find food in the grocery store that isn't processed. I was in Meijer for 4 hours. Yes, 4 hours. I couldn't find anything. All these fresh ingredients, herbs, and items from the meat counter took me forever to find, as I usually only grace the frozen food aisle. (The meat counter always flips me out, and the seafood counter is worse!) I never know what to ask for. But, since I was in Meijer for four hours, the meat counter was closed before I even got to that. I know for next time, right? And the lobsters, seriously. It's so very sad. I really wish they wouldn't sit live lobsters out for the pickin'. You know they know they're on death row.
My first dish wasn't too bad. It was a smoked salmon pasta salad, with blue cheese dressing, tomatoes & cucumbers. (Note to self: cucumbers make me ill.) It wasn't a complete flop, which surprised me and John both. However, I did have to cook the pasta 2 times, because I followed the package directions, and it took way longer for the pasta to cook than the package said.
Over the last few weeks, I've been spending hours in the kitchen. Thankfully, I have my mama to help me, so I haven't burnt the house down yet. I've learned how to julienne a pepper, crush fresh garlic, and work a food processor. The best part, is I'm learning from one of the best cooks out there. My own Mama. Now, don't get me wrong, I have no intention of cookin it old-school, like she does most of the time. Our preferences lean more toward fish, and Mediterranean dishes. We like Italian and grilled items. We're trying to adopt a healthier lifestyle.I don't see me making a full-blown turkey with all the fixin's quite yet. I've realized, too, that it's okay not to cook the same types of food my mama and grandma both are famous for..the hearty, heavy, home cooked meal. I think the most important part is that it comes from me, the new Mama on the block, and it comes from the heart.